The term Values is more than just a buzz word. Knowing what’s important to you and why it matters changes everything!
Knowing your personal values can mean the difference between living a life that is driven by the needs and wants of those around you. OR… Living a life filled with passion, purpose, and fulfillment.
Who wouldn’t want to feel passionate, purposeful, and fulfilled? If you wouldn’t, you can stop reading right now and return to your normal routine. For everyone else please continue!
Why are they important?
When I’m starting a new coaching relationship with a Big Bold & Brave client, defining their Core Values is one of the very first deep exercises we do. Why?
It’s simple: Because our values are at the foundation of every decision we make.
What are they?
There are three different sets of values everyone carries with them. They are:
Inherited – These values helped you learn, grow, and make decisions based off of the belief system that was in place by those who were in charge of your well-being. Those people may be your parents, your grandparents, your foster parents, etc. These values don’t always align with the person you are today. You may want to let some of them go.
Perceived – These are the values you think you “should” have, but are not the ones that actually guide you from the inside out. These values DO NOT serve you and you’re just wasting energy trying to live by them. These NEED to be let go.
Core – These are the only values that matter. These are the ones that truly guide you and you may be surprised to learn what they actually are. As soon as you align your life with these you will start to feel more balanced, content, happy, the list goes on and on.
Definition of Core Values: Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organization. The core values are the guiding principles that dictate behavior and action.
I know what you’re thinking… how do I know which one is which?
I do go into a deep dive exercise with my coaching clients on determining what their inherited, perceived, and core values are. We have powerful conversations around aligning and letting go that are transformational in their lives. Powerful learning right there!
You don’t have to be a client to get the training. If you’re interested in attending the next deep dive core value discovery webinar go here to get your name on the list. You’ll be the first to know when the next date is announced!
What they are for me?
You may be wondering, “How do I know what my values are?” Great question!
One of the simplest ways to name them is to become aware of how you’re feeling. Have you ever been frustrated, irritated, or impatient? Did that feeling seem to sneak up on you? Did it feel as if all of the sudden you went from content, even happy, to irritated in less time than it takes for you to blink? We’ve all been there! Consider that those moments are a great opportunity to reveal a personal value.
Whether it be intentionally or subconsciously, you most likely were going against your fundamental core belief…
Quick Tip: Pay attention to those things that make you impatient, irritated, or downright angry. Most likely the exact opposite of that is a value of yours that’s not being honored.
For example: It really frustrates me when I see a group of people talking and having fun, but there’s one person off to the side not included. I have a strong value of INCLUSSIVENESS.
The same could be said when we make a decision based off of what those around us need/want instead of what we know in our gut is best for us (we’re talking perceived values here). How many times have you done that only to find that later you regretted that decision and wished you could have a do-over?
I’m not saying that you’ll be able to operate solely out of what’s best for you all the time. That just isn’t realistic. You need to compromise and collaborate in all aspects of your life: family, friends, career, etc. What I AM saying is that cultivating awareness and using that to pro-actively align with your values as much as you can, will bring you exponentially closer to fulfillment.
It’s time to commit to paying attention to those situations and ask yourself these questions:
- Did that decision feel good to me after all was said and done?
- If it did, what was important about that? How did it make me feel (be specific)?
- If it didn’t, how did it make me feel (be specific)? What do I need to do next time to remember that feeling before I say yes?
It may seem like a lot to think about, but creating awareness is the key to bringing more passion, purpose, and fulfillment in your life! You can take that to the bank.
Big Bold & Brave Challenge
Think about your day, week, month, life. Are there any areas where an awareness around what’s most important to you would help you design a better outcome? Share your thoughts in the comments section of this post or head over to the Big Bold and Brave Facebook page to join the conversation.